I have been depriving myself of sleep lately for some odd reason. I also wake up every morning at 4am and stay up for about half an hour then go back to sleep. My acupuncture guy says that 4am is the hour of the lungs and that lungs are the organ of grief and I must have grief moving through my body at that hour. All I need, sad lungs.
I have been writing and reading. I am excited about writing again, one of these exhilarated stages where words are moving through me and everything in the world is right. I have poems in the mail and stories I am editing. I'm toying with the alleged novel and working out some issues I've had with characters and plot. I now have a bad guy and he is Bad. Yes, with a capital B.
La Celula Que Explota
I have a long standing crush on the lead singer of Caifanes, Saul. He is my goth dream man with beautifully strange teeth and a bone structure I want to give birth to. I want him to sing this song to me at night in the desert among iguanas and other spiny creatues that know about survival. Hay veces que quisiera ahogarte en un grito. . . "There are times I want to drown you in a scream." Ok, fine by me.
I read a terribly bad book a couple of weeks ago that is on the NYT bestseller list for fiction. It pissed me off. The writer, I believe, should have some responsibility to the reader. We are giving hours of our lives to your story, your characters, your vision. You have created a world for us to lose ourselves in. This writer had no idea what she was doing and at the end of the book delivered such a blow to me, that I threw the book across the room. Everything I had read, up until that point, had been a lie. It was such a shameful way to end the book; as if the writer didn't know how to end it so she chose the easy way out. No responsibility at all to the reader. No way to redeem her characters or the story they were telling. Bullshit. I was not a happy reader.
I have not been the healthiest person lately but I have been happier than I have been in a long time. Odd.
Oh and I have a stalker.