Sunday, December 7, 2008

ant, my tiny segmented muse

The ant invasion in my apartment seems to be over save for one ant that appears to have taken permanent residence on my writing desk. Each morning when I come into my office to journal and blog, the ant comes out from a pile of paper and circles around. Often she crawls onto one of my hands and makes its way towards the tip of my fingers as if to see better what I am writing. I always brush the little thing off and watch her. I wonder what she eats.

Last night I ended up at the Walkabout with Cecil. We immediatley stopped walking-about went to the Whistle Stop for adult beverages. I ran into a couple of people who are into my writing, which was really cool but a new thing. The best and strangest part of the evening is that I danced. I love dancing but haven't danced in well over a year. I danced with O, who I wrote a poem for that appears in half life of memory. At 6'4", all in black, shaved head and covered in scars, he is the most intimidating-looking human I know; the stories of his scars are interesting enough to write a hundred stories about.

My discipline seems to have gone the way many things have gone this year, quietly slipping out of my life. I look back to see that my writing this year hasn't been prolific. I've gnawed on some essays and chipped away at the novel. One poem was born. I had a lot of internal things going on. But, I put out the chapbook (with more help from B than I could ever express.) I have had poems in the mail and still do. I've applied for things and forgotten about them. But every day I am a writer. It is closer to me than my name.

Depeche Mode

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