Monday, December 1, 2008

ants, evolving

Ants have invaded my apartment. I have no food out. In fact, I realized I haven't gone grocery shopping in weeks. But the ants are still here. In my office, kitchen, my dining area and all over my bathroom. I try not to kill them, but I don't always succeed.

When I was a little girl I was obsessed with ants. I checked books out of the library on ants. I had an ant farm. I would lay belly flat in the backyard for hours watching the ants, enthralled. I was too young to add metaphor or symbolism to my thoughts on the ants. Not like today. I've been training my brain to write and think in terms of writing that everything that is happening somehow transforms into a symbol or metaphor. Everything is a potential poem, each event can be mined for details to be filed away and put in a story. Sometimes I exhaust myself. The ants crawl all over me. Even where there aren't any, I imagine the ants are on me. I woke up several times last night to wipe at my face nervously. I don't like feeling invaded.

I went to see Twilight yesterday. I enjoyed the books, even though the characters were a little too goody-goody for me. The movie was, if anything, a way to spend the afternoon. I wasn't thrilled or disgusted. The last song in the movie was an Iron & Wine song which stuck in my heart like a bubble.

Naked As We Came
Iron & Wine

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