Monday, December 8, 2008

dreaming life

My dreams have taken a turn for the intense/disturbing/violently strange again. Oh subconscious! Please stop this madness. I often wonder what I look like when I'm sleeping, if I am as physically disturbed as I am in my dreams. I wake up with pillows over my head, body diagonal on the bed, the blankets and sheets twisted or kicked off. I don't like waking up exhausted, I doubt anyone does. In one of my dreams last night my phone was ringing but I was physically unable to move. I was "awake" but had no control over my body, I couldn't even open my eyes. When I finally did I was laying beside a friend in a strange metal room, we touched foreheads and then I disappeared into a dream about Mexico: drugs, hotels, and running, always running, seeking and fleeing.

I think a lot about the psychology of dreams. Freud and all that. Dream interpretation gurus, the dolphin-worshipping type. Or other research that speaks of randomness, dreams being where our minds rapidly misfire and produce the strangeness. I don't have any idea. I don't really believe my brain is that random, I have been training not to be for too long. At least if I ever falter in what to write about I have hundreds of dreams documented in my journals and I can become a magical realist.

Hope Sandoval

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