Thursday, October 22, 2009

the heart is not a parking garage with attendants

Last night I sat on the balcony looking to see if any meteors were straggling from the shower the night before.  I've spent many important moments on that little balcony.  When I first moved in to this place, my heart broken, I remember not being able to sleep.  I hadn't set up my bed yet or anything that all.  The entire apartment was in disarray and my heartbeat was a gong of fail, fail. I sat on the little balcony for hours, from the middle of the night until dawn, wrapped in a blanket wondering what this new home would bring me.  Great things, shelter and a kind of softness.

Thinking this morning on leaps of faith and bravery.  I used to be braver than I am now. I wasn't ever afraid of taking risks. I may be swinging back.  I forgot the flip side of joy is terror, what makes the joy intoxicating and dangerous. Something to think about, not just on my balcony, not just waiting for things to fall out of the sky.


Perfect Day
Lou Reed

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