Monday, May 24, 2010

done, kind of

I did it. I wrote for 9 hours. I was pretty dang exhausted but did it. I didn't think I would make it. I woke up really early yesterday, and danced around my apartment to music for an hour. I wasted all that good energy on dancing instead of writing. Here are the poems! Of course, these are all first drafts and not perfect. I have a few I'm not posting, namely Shar and Patita, you know I can't post yours. Tree, I'm struggling with your ending. But I'm on it.

for Linda

there is of light released when we lift our legs

to swoop a foot in the direction of a proverbial ass.

it is in the spiral helixes of our DNA, whirling ecstatic,

the summits of our strength peaking, how damn

good we look with the reins in our hands, riding each

beast of an adventure into the next. smart asses like us

raise hell and are effervescent in our loving, flowers

in our teeth, shaking our hips at the skeptics shaking

their heads and clucking their tongues at us, if they’d

let us, we could show them what tongues were made for,

our words are adored, our wet brains glisten in our skulls,

we are the brilliant creatures mythology is made of.

let the rest suffer their mundane lives, we’ll continuing

being the light which makes the dark of this life bearable.

Dearest Enemy

for Drew

Dearest Enemy,

I know, darling, sweetheart, baby,

life hasn’t gone the way you wanted,

no one recognizes you anymore and

you one day woke up to find you were

the cranky old man shaking his rake

at the leaves drowning the lawn, or

the woman who had grown used to

being the prettiest girl in the room

and suddenly they stopped looking.

You want your world back, you’re

tired of strange faces, you worry

when they speak that language they

speak of you with pity. Love,

we all want the same things, a life

lived well and without hunger. That

fear you know so well? Imagine

walking into every room as an other,

the face strangers have attached

hatred to because it is easier to close

a door than it is to open it. Imagine

then loving, chinking out holes in

the wall you’ve built to protect

yourself from the unknown, imagine

new air entering your body, the

cobwebs unsticking, blowing away.

Imagine each stranger you meet is

a child, imagine you are this child’s

sibling, think of this life as a field where

you can chase each other, invent a

secret language of intimacy, unlearn;

remember you shared a womb.

Imagine that each time you accept

someone the light inside of you

brightens, imagine how much

easier your life will be unencumbered

by hatred. I look forward to being




Playa del Carmen

for Cher

I found a photograph the other day,

taken ten years ago next month.

I’m on a boat in a little blue bikini,

the water is turquoise, sand white.

I’m leaning into that petulant hunky German

who, for that summer, claimed me as his own.

God, I loved being claimed like that.

You told me back then about your Mexico days,

how years later you regretted one man and

your regret was that you didn’t give into him.

Thank you for the warning against caution,

I was such a kid, I can’t imagine what it was

like to watch me put my hands in the fire,

I like to think it was beautiful, saying yes

to every pretty thing in my path, gazing at the

world through the green glass of beer bottles.

I had no perspective and am grateful I didn’t,

I wouldn’t have ridden off like that with him,

I wouldn't have taken off my clothing

and learned how it felt to swim naked

in the ocean at night with an impatient lover.

I faced the disappointed eventually and learned

to shutter the hurt in but wow, I was something, no?

thank you for encouraging me in all my joyous recklessness.


for Kristin

I was relieved that first day in Kansas

to enter your home and see your painted floor,

the wild array of shelves, books and color,

the first time I heard you laugh I knew

we’d be friends, our dork years in common,

literature; soon the phone lines were

buzzing with stories, you patient and frustrated

along with me the year I learned the hard way

a wolf can lose his teeth but not his hunger.

What I always come back to is your face

when you saw the red-haired brown children

playing at the wharf in Mexico; I was still

raw with devastation that day and wanted to

cry when I told you that’s how I imagined

my children would have looked like, and

how badly I wanted for us to be sisters.

That night we danced wildly to a cover band,

drank beer with your students and laughed

at how it all turned out, all that love I gave

your brother boomeranging through the

bloodlines, returned to me through you.

1 comment:

January 2009 said...

Clever, my love. I'm so proud of you. I hope the world discovers your light, as have I. God Bless and all my love your your continued brilliance. Drew