Tuesday, March 22, 2011

the mind at rest

I've been steady in my meditation practice. I'm kind of impressed with myself, though the things I'm becoming aware of are probably not things I wanted to be aware of. Know thyself, huh? The dark was also lovely. But this is nice too. My insomnia is almost easing at times.

I recently came across a journal from 3 years ago. I read the thing cover to cover, crying at a lot of the parts, smiling hugely at others. 3 years ago I moved into this apartment and I was so ready for it. Over the course of the writing in the journal I decide I want a new apartment, I find this one, I move in and I paint it blue and prange. In-between the finding and moving and painting I had my heart broken and then began to pick up the pieces. B makes a heavy appearance towards the end of the journal, swooping in to save the day with movies and beer and the beginning of his phenomenal friendship. I wonder what kind of crazy state of mind I was in back then. In the journal I write how strange it is to have a man be nice to me, how unused to it I am and how much I love it. I still love it.

Writing some. National Poetry Month is coming up and I'm considering writing a poem a day again. We'll see. Maybe. I wrote about 20 last year and the full 30 the year before. I should do it, the practice is good.

I was planning on going to Mexico this week but couldn't afford it. I need a trip, something soon, something quiet and beautiful.

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