fulfill your destiny

I could quote Star Wars all day long. It was on last weekend but for the first time in many many moons I chose not to watch it. Take from that what you will, only one of you will be right.

I finished NaNoWriMo. First draft of novel: complete. I ended on a really tense note, so tense in fact, that while I was writing it Cecil called and I jumped and screamed when the phone rang. I love the book, I do. Now I'm going to rewrite it completely because that is what writers do. I learned a lot about the world I was writing about, er, creating. I have notes for myself all over the place, next to my bed, in my purse, in my car. I was (and am) constantly working out the way the world began, the development of characters, political history, plot points. What a process. I trust myself. I trust myself.

I have been dreaming my book a lot, which is very strange and wonderful. I dream about one of the worlds I created, though really, I believe I based the world off of the place I consistently visit when I dream. I was there again last night, looking out the window of a room I was staying in and I saw one of the places I wrote into my novel and one of the creatures as well.

Last night I went to see Luis Urrea read at Warwicks in La Jolla. I met Luis and his awesome wife Cindy a couple of years ago at a Writer's Conference and we all hit it off. We tweet back and forth at each other consistently. I'm pretty damn excited to read his new book Queen of America as I loved The Hummingbird's Daughter. I did 't get to chat much with Luis as he was super busy but I had some time with his wife who is pretty much a super-smart, ass-kicking woman. I love super-smart, ass-kicking women. I think they are the best women ever.

So much to do. I found this quote on a notecard while cleaning my desk. From Rilke, of course. I wonder what it meant to me when I wrote it down. My writing is cramped and I was pressing the tip of the pen hard into the paper. Finding old writing, notes and such is a practice in emotional archeology.

Be modest now, like a thing

ripened until it is real,

so that he who began it all

can feel you when he reaches for you.

II, I.