Monday, April 2, 2012

reckoning

March was hard. I lost the thread of consistency in my writing practice, meditation and exercise. From the beginning old monsters reared up and demanded to be dealt with. I'm tired. In my body and my mind. I know this is a phase, part of the cycle but still, I'm tired. I've had little solitude the last couple of weeks, social obligations and house guests and I'm screaming inside for alone time.

I wrote my first poem for National Poetry Month last night ten minutes before midnight. I wrote a poem about beginnings, since it is the beginning of National Poetry Month. I look forward to having this daily goal of writing. Writing the poem felt good, a tiny bit of pressure released from the valve, an ease.

My sister's bridal shower was this weekend and it was lovely. I love seeing how happy she is, how much love she and her fiancee have for each other. That being said, I don't like bridal showers, or baby showers, or even weddings. I'm not a fan of traditional rites of passage. I wonder if it is because my primary belief system as a child was one which eschewed tradition for a sense of autonomy. All cults require a certain autonomy and that need for autonomy is the guiding hand in my life.

I think I wont go to work today, or just work for a couple of hours in the afternoon. My home is a disaster right now, from travel, house guests, laziness. I dislike living in a mess and will organize today, cull and clean. I have correspondences to consider, work to edit, more than this.


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