Friday, June 7, 2013

today and all the days since

A year ago today H and I started our relationship. For the fourth morning in a row, we woke before dawn, met on the desert road as friends and went for a hike to watch the sun rise over Ghost Valley. Sitting on the mesa we discussed the meanings of our names, meditated, and spent most of it in silence. It was one of the most beautiful mornings of my life. That evening we slept out under the stars on the mesa. Grateful. Crazy in love and excited about our future.

I've been working steadily on the novel. Yesterday I was stuck some, trying to figure out how to get from one point to another. I introduced a new set of characters who will be in the rest of the series, they're pretty fucking creepy. I hit my word count and headed off into the night to sit at my favorite bar, drink red wine and read poetry. I was content with what I'd written but still, there was a tickle, little nag that I needed something.

Interlude: I'm crazy about hypnosis. I have been fascinated with the brain and brain science my whole life. Years ago while working through insomnia I started listening to a sleep hypnosis track and it worked. I began experimenting with other hypnosis tracks, methods of self-hypnosis and was hooked. Researching hypnosis and brain science I came across brainwave entrainment research. I started playing around with it and LOVED it. I listen to isochronic tones and binaural beats while I write and I swear it keeps me focused.  Add my steady meditation practice and dream work. . . my mind is a fertile, fertile place.

I've been taking zinc supplements at night and my dreaming has become even more vivid. I slept somewhat early last night and went into crazy heavy but stunningly beautiful dreams. I woke up, did my dream work, went right into meditation and my all of my plot issues resolved themselves. Lined. Right. Up. It took all of my discipline not to jump up and write everything down and I'm glad I didn't, even more came to me.  Overjoyed.

Thinking on cycles, as they are a theme in my work. Last night I realized a long cycle was ending, one based on a physical place I've frequented for years. Funny how a place can become a hinge experiences are latched to. The physical space, the place I have loved is undergoing a transformation as well but I'm grateful it was there when it mattered.

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