Thursday, April 18, 2013

April update and poems

Long, somewhat rough week. If you're following my daily poems you've probably noticed I've taken a break. Earlier this week I found out one of my cousins died. He was 39. We weren't close but we grew up together, he was the older, wiser cousin and knowing he passed has punched me in the gut. I also am working on a big contract for my business that has me working long hours in the sun and when I get home I shower, eat and fall asleep. This weekend I plan on resting, writing, and grieving with my family at the service for my cousin on Sunday.

In better news, one of my favorite poems "little song for dissatisfaction" has been published at Toe Good Poetry.  I wrote this poem in Paris in 2006. I took the first draft of it to a weekly writing workshop that was held at Shakespeare & Company. It was one of those writerly moments, sitting in the grungy top floor of a famous bookstore in Paris, sharing my work with other writers, looking out the window at Notre Dame cathedral.

Monday, April 8, 2013

love and a little peek backwards

I want to let you know I love my life.  I am so incredibly happy and productive these days. I have days that are tougher than others but over all, joy.

I moved into this apartment five years ago exactly. I was going through some shit. The man I was in love with at the time helped me move in and broke up with me immediately after, in the car, while I was driving. A word to the compassionate: don't do that. Don't break someone's heart while they are driving a beast of metal, oil and fire down the highway at 75 miles an hour. Anyway, I was devastated. Worst break-up ever, the kind that guts, splits your life into a definite before and after. But broken wasn't the worst thing to be, after all. Wounded was the worst shit, making poor decisions based on fear. That too passed. Not without mistakes, not without having to Hulk smash my ideas of who I was, but it passed.

I had afternoon drinks with my mom yesterday. She told me she loves seeing how happy I am. Happiness is a practice, I've realized, and so much of it is based in gratitude. I've heard that over and over through the years but when going through the river of crap and woeful navel-gazing, it doesn't click. Last year on my 33rd birthday I wrote those letters of gratitude on this blog. I kept up the practice of writing down my gratitude privately. It changes everything.

Years ago when I was in the muck, I spoke to someone who told me to keep myself surrounded by the kind of people I wanted to be. I think for many years I was confused. I was drawn to sharp intelligence and wit but with those minds came a ton of cynicism and negativity. Now most of that is out of my life and I can't believe what a difference it makes.

So, I am happy. And running very, very late for work. Good thing I make my own hours.




Thursday, April 4, 2013

poetry month

Hey loves. Life is busy and good, and I am writing. I am once again attempting to write a poem a day for National Poetry Month. I posted all of my poems on this blog a few years back but this year I've decided to post them on another, password protected blog. But you, dear readers, get the password and the link. The blog is  http://poesia2013.tumblr.com/ and the password: poeta   Remember, these are brand new, mostly unedited poems. Some will be better than others. Some will eventually be abandoned. Let me know what you think.